Category Archives: Coffee

Being Touristy in the Wee Hours of the Morning

Even if New York City never sleeps, it’s commuters most certainly do.  This (compressed) photo was taken at some ung-dly hour of the morning in a virtually empty Grand Central.  Although, our fine security force did not hesitate to gawk and stare suspiciously at the harmless girl with the camera.  The only thing that I was a danger to is the cup of coffee one of them was audaciously sipping.  At that hour of the morning, even Dunkin’ Donuts coffee from box of higher quality than the beans would have sounded appealing.

I should mention, however, that the police presence is highly comforting, even if I must tell them I’m not begging for money while clutching my expensive purse and camera.

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Filed under Coffee, Life, NYC, Photography, Photos

Betcha $1.08 You Can’t Pick Up These

About 14 months ago, this appeared on 13th Street, except at the time, it was filled with pennies. Some individual thought that in a city where there are thousands of people begging in the streets, it would be funny to super-glue money to the pavement. They remained there until the solvent was worn down by wind, rain, angry wage-slaves’ shoes, and accidental liabtions of coffee. This sadistic fiend probably has a covert video of people struggling to pry change from the ground like Dan Quayle struggled to spell, speak, or do anything requiring mild competence.

Here is yet one more New Yorker seeking to gain pleasure by making others’ lives more miserable than their own. Although, in the end, some lucky person may have walked away $1.08 richer.

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Filed under Coffee, Humor, Life, NYC, Photography, Photos, Thoughts

The Morgan Spurlock of Starbucks

In response to Lemon Life‘s post on Mark Malkoff, a man who made an intriguing documentary about his epic quest to visit all 171 Starbucks stores in a day and consume part of something from every one of them. (Really? Really really? Yeah, I know.) Watch it on YouTube. (Note: This link will be posted straight to this page soon, for the moment… I think I broke Google.)

My comment to the post is as follows:

Mark Malkoff is definitely the Morgan Spurlock of Starbucks.

This is quite a feat just mathematically speaking; not only in terms of his travel time, but also in terms of his gargantuan caffeine intake. If there are 80-100mg of caffeine in the average espresso shot and around 600mg of caffeine in your system puts you at risk for heart failure, assuming the minimum amount after 7.5 shots of espresso he’d be considered at risk.

Also, considering that he’d had “8 espresso shots in the past 3 hours” at hour 7… that man must have the bladder and liver control of a G-d. I’m beyond amazed. Perhaps, this is the only time when the word “flabbergasted” can be used appropriately.

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Filed under Coffee, Film, NYC, Starbucks, Thoughts, YouTube

Coffee On Wheels

Wheels create a nice pun with the MUD Truck Revolution.  It’s a game of chance at MUD Coffee, but if you’re lucky, your taste buds will undergo a religious experience, possibly ending in conversion.  Their best baristas may have been trained by Siddharta Gautama himself, as many have claimed to reach Nirvana from a particularly delectable Mocha.  However, fate does work in mysterious ways.  Sometimes a barista who can’t spell to save her life will put half-and-half in your soy latte; thus, making this experience, much like life, a game of chance.

The great prices, down-to-earth philosophy, and rave reviews make this a risk one must indulge in.  Plus, getting coffee from a radical, neon-orange van is one of those novelty experiences likely to end up on of those “1001 Things to do Before You Do Something of Seemingly Gargantuan Importance” lists.

MUD Coffee

Pardon the blurry photo taken with my little consumer camera…  much like vampires cannot see their own reflection in a mirror, the true divinity of MUD cannot be captured in sharp focus.

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Filed under Coffee, Food, Life, NYC, Photography, Shopping

Be Kind to Your Barista

Or 5 Ways to Guarantee Your Barista Will Spit in Your Drink

As a former barista and a daily consumer of a $5 double soy latte (yeah, don’t judge), I thought it only fitting to give note to the industry (I repeat, Industry) I’d gladly give my all to preserve. Or maybe I’m just sick of douchebags. Some of these may be familiar to you, some of them we secretly roll our eyes at.

1. Ask for an iced capuccino. There’s no reason anybody needs their barista to make steaming hot foam so it can seep into their ice cubes and create a watery, luke-warm latte. Nobody, and I mean NO BODY, needs that.

2. Order a Caramel Macchiato. Not everywhere is a Starbucks. Don’t be surprised when you get a minuscule cup with your order. Yelling at your barista won’t help, because the Italians are right. What you have is espresso with caramel and a dollop of foam. What you want is called a Caramel Vanilla Latte, or occasionally a Caranilla.

3. Don’t tip. Baristas are paid close to if not exactly minimum wage under the assumption that they will garner extra income from tips. Guess what happens if nobody tips because they think they only have to in restaurants? Unless you can make your Iced Mocha Frappe at home, throw a few extra coins in the jar. That clinky shit adds up nicely at the end of the day.

4. Order a non-fat, sugar-free latte with whipped cream. I don’t even need to explain this one.

5. Complain about the speed of your service. Especially when there’s a line out the door. Believe me, they want to go “as fast as they fucking can,” too. You can chill for two seconds for your luke-warm, non-fat, latte with whip.

Thank you to all of those who already know this. I’d love to be preaching to the choir. Now, a recipe:

Nutella Coffee– something to spice up your morning cup.

  • Brew a pot of coffee.
  • Place a scoop of chocolate ice cream in the bottom of a cup.
  • Pour coffee over ice cream almost to the top of the cup.
  • Add a shot of hazelnut syrup.
  • Stir.
  • Enjoy nirvana.

With that, have a blissful day.

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Filed under Coffee, Nutella, Starbucks